RELATIONSHIP TEST: A Deeper Look at How You Relate
If you’re feeling stuck in a relationship and wondering, Why do we keep having the same argument? know that you’re not alone.
Maybe it seems like you just don’t “get” each other anymore. Or perhaps something doesn’t feel quite right, even though you can’t work out exactly what this thing is. If this feels familiar, a relationship test may help you discover what might be lying underneath it all. By recognizing the patterns in your relationship, you can begin to understand what’s happening, why it does, and how to start making changes.
On this page, we explore what relationship assessment tests are, how they work, why people use them, and how Insight Mental Health Group’s relationship assessments can help couples and business partners.
What Is a Relationship Assessment?
A relationship assessment is a structured way of looking at how you and your partner relate to each other. It doesn’t tell you whether your relationship is “good” or “bad.” Rather, it takes a closer look at each person and the relationship dynamics to understand where things may be getting “stuck.”
A relationship health assessment typically considers areas such as communication, conflict, attachment, personality, and intimacy. Additionally, it might explore how each of your personal beliefs and past experiences influence how you react in your relationship. Many people find this helpful because we don’t always recognize our own patterns, especially if they’ve become automatic responses.
For example, during an argument, you might need reassurance, while your partner might need space. Neither of you is wrong for having these needs. The problem is what happens next. You might seek reassurance, but they pull away for space. In response, you may seek more reassurance…and before long, both of you feel unheard.
A professional relationship test for couples can help identify patterns like these and show you how to shift out of learned routines.
How Does a Couples Relationship Assessment Work?
A relationship assessment for couples looks at each partner individually as well as how they interact as a couple.
The exact process often depends on the assessment being used, but it may involve:
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Individual questionnaires or assessments, which explore each person and their relationship
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Individual interviews, which give each partner space to talk openly
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A relationship evaluation, which looks at each person and how they interact
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Joint feedback, to review what the results show
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An action plan, based on the findings from the assessments and evaluation
There’s no winner or loser here. The point is to understand what happens between you, particularly in the moments when things go wrong, and what you might do differently.
How Can a Relationship Test Help You?
When you’re in the middle of the same argument for what feels like the hundredth time, seeing the bigger picture isn’t easy. A relationship test gives you the opportunity to take a step back and look at what’s happening from a different perspective.
An assessment can take some of the guesswork out of it all. Instead of just knowing that certain things keep repeating, you can start understanding your relationship patterns and what drives them. Knowing the “why” often helps you to approach situations differently.
The Couples Insight Relationship Assessment
At Insight Mental Health Group, Dr. Madeline Kay developed the Couples Insight Relationship Assessment to help partners explore their relationship and understand where they might be getting stuck.
The assessment consists of two individual and two joint sessions. So, each of you has time to talk one-on-one with the clinician before coming back together to look at what happens between you.
The assessment of your relationship typically involves using several tools, such as:
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Personality assessments
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Attachment style assessments
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Evaluations for unhelpful underlying beliefs
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Love language discrepancies
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Exploring the impact of ADHD, anxiety, or other underlying concerns, when relevant
When you put the outcomes of these tools together, the results start to show where things may be going off-track.
Maybe you have very different personalities. Or, perhaps one of you shows affection in ways the other simply doesn’t recognize. Small differences like these can become surprisingly big over time.
At the end of the relationship test, you will receive a report explaining how each of your tendencies, personalities, or patterns may be shaping the relationship. This gives you a clearer idea about what you may want to change or work on together, whether privately or in therapy.
Insight’s Relationship Test for Business Partners
Of course, relationship patterns don’t only show up at home. Business partners can get “stuck” with each other, too. And personality or communication differences can lead to business partner communication issues, even when you share the same goals.
We work with business partners who want to understand why their working relationship works well in some areas but not-so-great in others. The assessment can explore individual strengths and differences and how these may influence communication and decision-making.
Try Our Relationship Assessment Tool Today
You don’t have to wait until your relationship reaches a breaking point to try to understand what’s happening.
Maybe it’s the same argument that keeps coming back. Perhaps you’ve grown disconnected. Or maybe nothing is particularly “wrong,” but you’d just like to understand each other better. A relationship test can give you somewhere to start.
Reach out to us today to learn more about the Couples Insight Relationship Assessment and whether it may be a useful next step for your relationship.
FAQs About Couples Assessments
Still have questions? Here are answers to some common questions about relationship assessments.
What does a couples assessment measure?
A couples assessment explores your relationship rather than giving it a simple “pass” or “fail” score.
Depending on the relationship scale used, it may explore intimacy, communication, conflict, attachment, personality, and overall relationship satisfaction. Together, these areas can give you a better idea of what’s working well and what tends to be a sticking point.
Is the relationship test just for couples?
Not necessarily. Although it was designed for couples, some of the same principles can be useful for other relationships, including business partners.
Relationship test vs. couples therapy: What’s the difference?
A relationship assessment isn’t a replacement for couples therapy or marriage counseling. Instead, it helps you identify patterns, individual tendencies, and areas you might want to work on. Couples therapy then gives you more time and space to explore these issues and work toward change.
